June 7th, 2013
With our post-european break almost over it’s time to start gearing up for the UK leg of the tour.
I shall, of course be blogging as usual throughout the tour and, as I invoke various members of the entourage throughout these blogs, I felt that perhaps I ought to provide a handy personnel guide for your reference. A sort of ‘who’s who’, or rather ‘who’s that’ of the Lisa Stansfield touring company.
It’s only a very brief guide as I am planning to release more in-depth profiles later on but, at the very least you will have some idea of who I’m talking about as I impart our sorry tale.
With that in mind, I had planned to give everyone in the band and crew the opportunity to positively influence their showing in this outline through bribery and corruption.
But I forgot…..
So, here goes with the totally unexpurgated, warts and all resumé of our little travelling circus.
Dave Oliver – Keyboards/Musical Director: In charge of making sure we all start and finish pretty much together and that not too many people are injured in between. A keen gurner, Dave can always be found flagrantly ignoring the dress code (Black, Dave!)
Snowboy – Percussion: The oldest serving member of the Lisa Stansfield Silver Prize Band, Mark (for that is his official name) has played on every commercial show that Lisa has ever done – whether he was asked or not! Snowboy’s hair is brought to you courtesy of Dax.
Davide Mantovani – Bass Guitar: Recognised in the Guinness Book of Records as the world’s tallest living bass player, Davide earns extra cash on the tour by polishing the ceiling of the tour bus with his head in between shows. Representing 50% of the Italian contingent, he spends much of his spare time looking for his volume pedal. (clue: we hid it!)
Andrea Grant – Vocals: Shy and retiring Andrea is the only person on the tour brave enough to sleep in a bunk above Mick. On permanent loan from Strictly Come Dancing, when unable to remember the words she just sings any old shit!
Davide Giovannini – Drums: Forming the other half of the Etruscan guard, Davide is the youngest member of the band. The 17 year old tub thumper attributes his rugged good looks to years of clobbering stuff and not smoking or drinking (much)
Mick Donnelly – Sax & Flute: Former World ballroom dance champion of 1964, Mick is a teetotaller who has many friends, despite coming from Hartlepool. His lifelong ambition is to learn to play the saxophone.
Johnny Thirkell – Trumpet & Flugelhorn: A former colonel in the SAS, when not racing Formula 1 cars, Johnny loves to unwind by polishing all the gold trophies he has won for all kinds of really clever stuff.
Walter Jacquiss – Tour Manager/Front of House Sound Engineer: Walter quit his previous job stuffing eels into a jam jar in favour of the more challenging task of stuffing musicians into a tour bus. Doubling as knob-twiddler-in-chief, he recently signed a multi-million pound endorsement deal with L’Oreal.
Colm Meade (Meado) – Monitor Engineer: the love child of Daniel O’Donnell and Bernie Nolan, Meado is a popular and well liked member of the family. Mainly because he will mess with our monitor mixes if we say otherwise. No, seriously…. he really is a great guy! One of the best…. My favourite, in fact….
Stephen Curran (Cuzzy) – Stage Manager & Backline Tech: Errant son of the 12th Earl of Huddersfield, Cuzzy’s nickname comes from the fact that he is a close relation of Henry VIII. He is one of the world’s leading experts at pushing buttons whilst scratching his head and his hobbies include catching eagles for Burt Reynold’s tea.
Cally Harris – Tour Assistant: A newcomer to the party, the European tour was Cally’s first foray with us. She really enjoyed the camaraderie and raucous good humour of touring with such a close knit family. So much so that she left and is now touring with Johnny Rotten (as if we weren’t rotten enough!)
Ian Devaney – Keyboards, Guitar & Husband: Ex-Mayor of Weybridge, Ian likes nothing better than sipping a delicious glass of Pimms whilst punting up the Wey. It is a little known fact that Ian is the world’s leading exponent of the B flat Catastrophone.
Lisa Stansfield – Turn, Boss & Vocals: A committed show-off, Lisa always manages to wangle her way to the front of the stage. She joined the band in 1989 as part of a Job Creation scheme organised by Rochdale County Council and is hoping to take up singing professionally.